It's been almost a month

since Harry's moved in. Life has been good for him and for us. He seems to be happy and liking it here. He gets great food, has even better company and is getting to know his granddaughter and she's getting to know him.


Life must be wonderful for him now that he is here in Arizona. He is learning to live in the hot desert, doesn't complain and is enjoying his time here. I'm glad I asked him to come live with us. I did good.

Carli has come to appreciate having her grandfather here and I feel comfortable leaving her in his care when James and I go out to run an errand or go to church. He doesn't seem to mind, I think he rather enjoys the time they have together.

I'm not exactly sure what happens when we are away, I think Carli may spend time in her bedroom, or perhaps they just sit and watch television together. I don't know if they talk about anything, or if grandpa tells her to be a good girl and mind her parents, but it seems to me that when we get home and I ask Harry how Carli was for him, he always tells me she was good.

I'm always glad to hear that she has behaved for him.

So, I have noticed since Harry's moved in I haven't blogged much. Shame on me...now that he's been here a week I think it's high time I got back into the swing of things. I love the fact that he is here, don't get me wrong. I have spent time getting to know him, making him meals, washing his dishes and doing laundry for him, including making his bed (only after I washed the sheets and no other time) and filling his pill keepers.

Something I think is a necessary evil...it's the only way he can take his pills everyday and not have to fight with the containers. Besides, it's all part of being a caregiver.

I love being around him and having him here. He's a wonderful grandfather to Carli and a great help to James and I. He seems to get Carli to do things (or stop doing things) when neither James or I can. He knows what to say to her to get her to go to bed at night no matter how much cajoling I/we seem to do.

Wow, I hope when I'm older and around my grandchildren, I can work my magic like he works his.

Caregiving - Day One

Today begins my first unofficially unpaid day of caregiving for my father Harry. It's been quite an interesting journey to say the least. In order to explain how I (or, rather we) got here I have to go back nearly 30 years.

See, I was adopted as a toddler. I was 2 and 1/2 years old when a nice, Christian family welcomed me into their home permanently as their youngest daughter. Growing up the youngest of five was always an interesting proposition...if that's the right word for it.

I reveled in being the youngest and always enjoyed the opportunity to show off for any and everyone who would pay attention. Not that I needed it, mind you, I always got plenty from all the older cousins, nephews and nieces, and foster children running around the house or wherever we might be at the time.

I grew up oblivious to the fact that my biological father was out there, somewhere thinking about me and wondering how I was doing. I always knew I was adopted, my parents never kept that fact from me, ever. In fact, they always made sure to tell me the story of my adoption and remind me that I was chosen to be their child. Not that they gloated over being my adopted parents, just the opposite.

I was very close to my dad and he always made sure to make me feel loved, appreciated, wanted and it was understood that I was his treasure. When Daddy passed away, I was 22 years old, pregnant with my second child and in the process of getting divorced from my first husband.

My daughter was born in December of that same year and life continued. Without getting on another tangent, one that I do not wish to blog about here, I will go on with how Harry and I finally ended up getting acquainted.

I met and married my second husband about a year later and proceeded to start a relationship with my father. This went on for about 10 years until I divorced my second husband and moved roughly 1300 miles away to another state.

When I did that I lost contact with Harry. I lived for nearly 8 years before coming into contact with him once more. In the process I remarried and 15 months later had my third (and final) child.

I reconnected with my father and he and I would talk on the weekends, albeit briefly but at least we were chatting. I eventually asked him to move in with me and my family and he accepted. Now, here we are together.

What's Next?

I know the title may sound as if something bad has happened, but that is not the case. I'm just trying to figure out loud, what steps to take next. There's some paperwork that needs to be turned in the morning after Harry arrives (since he'll be arriving at 9:43 p.m.) so that he can be approved for long-term care. Once's he's approved, I will be calling and arranging my First Aid and CPR training so that I can be hired as Harry's caregiver.

It's going to be interesting to see how this all plays out. I'm curious to know how it's all going to go, but I have to be patient and let things take their course. It isn't easy, but I'm going to do my best to try and wait and see.

Having Harry here and being able to actually see him and talk to him face-to-face is going to be different. I'll probably be nervous at first because it's been so long since I've actually seen his face. Over 10 years since I've seen him.

I think having him here is going to make things easier and I'll have more patience waiting for things to fall into place regarding his insurance and my getting hired as his caregiver. I'd like to think that I'll be so busy doing stuff for him and with him that the time will pass by just fast enough that I don't become impatient and want what I want now. Guess we'll see.

5 days and counting - the countdown begins

As you will notice by my title, there are 5 more days until Harry is here. His room is nearly complete. All that's left to do is to buy bedsheets, a pillow and comforter. It doesn't seem possible that time has flown by so quickly, yet here it is.

Now it's 4 days and time seems to be flying by. All the thoughts and plans have fallen into place and I think we're ready for him to be here, almost. It's amazing how life changes, especially when you least expect it.

I remember back to when this was all just an idea, a thought that maybe someday Harry would come for a visit, nothing permanent. But then I heard that he wanted to get to know me again and that seemed to change everything, the way I thought about what was happening and that maybe, perhaps, Harry should come live here permanently.

I also remember back to the time two years ago, when Carli and I went to visit James' father Bill in Pendleton, OR. We were there for two weeks and it really wasn't enough time for Carli to get to know him. Something I'll always regret, especially now since Bill passed away 15 months ago.

I suppose that's why, when I heard Harry wanted to get to know me better, that I came up with the idea of having him move in with us. We were going to do it for James' father, why not mine? Although Bill's wife nixed the whole idea, I think she was rather ignorant about the whole thing. Granted, they wouldn't have moved in with us, but I was willing to find decent housing for them and help them get assistance.

But, she always declined the offer and now I'm sorry I didn't push the issue more. That might have pushed them further, but the end results were the same, so I guess it wasn't meant to be. However, Harry is meant to be here because in a few days he'll be arriving in Phoenix from Montana and there's no going back.